By: Susan Korwin
This
status is going to be a little long, but I just had to write it. I just
got finished watching a documentary on the composer Stephen Sondheim,
and one of the things he talked about was an incident with his mother
which propelled me to write this status. On her way to surgery, she
handed him a note that read, "before I go to have my open-heart surgery,
I want you to know my biggest regret in life:
giving birth to you." He said he was completely and utterly stunned and
felt like a bullet hit him in the chest. Even today, he still sheds
tears from the hurt those words caused him. We all know the saying
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” If
only that were true! But....it's not!
Words can hurt a lot more than
sticks and stones. They may not break bones, but they can surely break
hearts. Words can devastate. Words can wound; words can kill. Words can
ruin reputations and destroy relationships. There’s just no doubt about
it:words hurt. They leave long lasting emotional cuts and
bruises...scars that don't heal. When someone hurts us with their words,
we play the tape over and over. No matter how many times we try to
dismiss the hurtful tirade, the pain keeps coming back. There may be
words from your childhood that you still can’t escape. Stupid. Fatso.
Ugly. Lazy. Dummy. Loser. Moron. Sissy. Chicken. And on and on. It
starts with one word when we’re young, but as we grow, the hurtful
sentiments become phrases and even paragraphs. If we don’t find a way to
heal, they can cause lasting, permanent damage. What's so sad is that
the people who verbally abuse are usually angry, bitter, resentful
people who want everyone to be as miserable as they are.
Their words
are a reflection of their souls. The tongue only speaks what comes from
the heart. Today I am suggesting that we ALL pay careful attention to
what we say. We can destroy someone or we can build someone up with just
our words. I know, especially as a Life Coach, that my words have
healed many who have been scarred. Remember, words can be weapons. Words
can destroy. The scars they leave can be more painful than a physical
assault. Broken bones heal, but a broken spirit takes much longer...and
sometimes never does!
Note from Mommyfrazzled: I love this a lot. I can relate to it personally. I think we all say things in life sometimes in anger, sometimes when hurt, or afraid. But at some point you have to say should I have said it that way or at all. When wrong do you go back to correct those words. Most people do not and more should. Things will happen but our lives are moments not one continuous instance, what happens today may not tomorrow, what happened years ago, is over. Move on and keep in mind what you say can have an impact on someone, think before you speak.
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